The first man to walk on the moon, Paula Deen, once quipped, “To air is human, to forgive define.” It is in that spirit of definition that The Lint Screen prints this correction of goofs and blunders our editorial staff has made.
+ The Shining was written by Stephen King, not Martin Luther King
+ The Empire State Building does in fact contain elevators; we had reported that the tall building contains “a whole bunch of dumbwaiters and dudes with tired arms”
+ Ulysses S. Grant fought in The American Civil War, not “an epic 23-hour game of Risk”
+ The Beatles were known as “The Fab Four”, not Peter, Paul and Mary
+ Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We had mistakenly disclosed that they “went up the hill to torch a couple spliffs of righteous bush, got totally baked and came tumbling down, man. Bummer!”
+ The Washington Monument is not shaped like the nation’s first president
+ Lebron James is a professional basketball player. We had erroneously reported that he was “the lesser known James brother in the rootin’ tootin’ wild, wild west!”
+ The name of the IBM computer that humiliated humanity playing Jeopardy was Watson, not “The Brainiac 6000”
+ Cats say “meow” and cows say “moo”–– not vice versa as we stated, although our reporter insists he’s heard cats moo
Despite these few errors, please know that The Lint Screen will continue its mission to be the most trusted source of information and perfection on the internet.
Thank you.
The Editore
My aunt in Barrington NJ failed to clean her lint screen for an extended period and the poor machine eventually caught fire and blew up. Lint Screen, your cleanup detailed above could very well have prevented an Internet disaster. Well done!
Thanks, Bill. It’s good to clean the lint from The Lint Screen from time to time.
I’m sorry to hear about your aunt. By any chance, does she have a cat who may have had it in for her? Many times, felines have been known to use their fur to clog lint screen and then toss in oily rags. It’s called the Kitty Malotov Cocktail and can be quite deadly.
That said, if she does have a cat she may wish to feed it tins of cat food. Cats generally prefer wet to dry.