Following President Donald J. Trump spanking of fake news yesterday, the White House has drafted a list of approved questions for the media to ask in press conferences.

“We had to do this,” Jeremy Bostwich, White House senior advisor told The Lint Screen. “Since the fake news is running rampant and not reporting the excellence exhibited every day by this incredible administration, we must do their job for them. I hope they are ashamed of their dereliction of duties but happy we’ve saved their bacon. You’re welcome.”

Here is the list of approved questions to ask the President:

1. What’s your favorite color?
2. Why do you think the crowd was so large on your inauguration day?
3. Do you think is was the largest crowd assembled in history? I mean, possibly?
4. Do you have a favorite Beatle?
5. Who do you think should have succeeded you in “The Apprentice”?
6. What are the milestones of your first thirty days in office?
7. Has this been the most successful presidency in history?
8. If you had to pick a second place whose presidency would you select?
9. What’s your favorite pizza topping?
10. Do you ever tire of winning? I mean, really?
11. Why do you tolerate the media? Part two: should the free press be abolished?
12. That’s a beautiful tie, who makes it?
13. How does it feel to have won in the largest landslide in political history?
14. Would you serve a third term, if the lazy Congress changed the law?

Now, perhaps the fake news will get real.