A Peek Inside The Mind Of “A Very Stable Genius”

President Donald J. Trump is proud of his new nickname for Steve Bannon–– “Sloppy Steve”–– but a dumpster dive at The White House by The Lint Screen reveals some other names that were in the running.

What follows is a list of rejected Bannon nicknames created by the man known worldwide for his sanity and his smarts! The list was on six crumpled sheets of presidential letterhead found in a trash bag from the West Wing (pages had ketchup stains attesting their authenticity).

— Sloppy Bannon
— Trash Bannon
— Stevie Junk
— Not Too Tidy Steven
— Stevie Pig Pen, Like In Charlie Brown
— Charlie Brown
— Snoopy
— Cute dog in a comic strip
— Steve Pigsty
— Little Steven
— The Boss, wait, I’m the Boss!
— Crooked Steve (note: CHECK AND SEE IF I’VE USED ‘CROOKED’ FOR ANYONE)
— Stubble Steve
— Won’t Shave Bannon
— Never Knew A Close Shave Steve
— No Razors Steve
— Whiskers McGee
— Dresses in Layers Bannon
— Two Shirts Steve
— Breit-fart Bannon
— Loose Lips
— Mr. Big Blabbermouth
— Mr. Can’t Keep A Secret
— That Sloppy Guy in THE ODD COUPLE–– what’s his name, not the neat one, the really sloppy one–– it’ll come to me
— Felix The Cat–– NO, THE OTHER GUY–– THE SLOPPY ONE!
— Oscar Meyer
— The Oscars
— James Madison
— Madison, Wisconsin
— Sloppy joes
— I’m hungry, think I’ll get some Big Macs and Filet of Fishes
— Steve who is sloppy
— Steve sloppy
— Sloppy Steve–- THAT’S IT! PERFECT!!! I AM A GENIUS!!! TIME FOR A HAPPY MEAL!!!!! BIG MACS, FISHIES, SHAKE, FRIES, KETCHUP!!! ME HUNGRY!!!