While Jared and Ivanka are “all in” on Team Trump, they are making plans should Joe Biden, Hugo Chavez, Brian Kemp, and The Harlem Globetrotters cheat Donald J. Trump out of his second term (which he won in a landslide!).
Today the couple affectionately known as Javanka announced plans for a major entrepreneurial gambit, the world’s first retail chain of luxury live bait stores.
“We’re calling it La Maison de Live Bait,” a breathless Ivanka Trump told The Lint Screen, as she tossed her glorious locks to one side of her gorgeous face. “It’s an exciting blockbuster idea we can’t wait to get off the ground.”
“We’ve been noodling this concept for a long, long time,” Jared Kushner said as he flossed his teeth. “There has never been a dedicated chain of live bait stores in the United States, so there’s obviously pent-up demand in this fertile white space.”
Ivanka gives her man a healthy dose of her loving goo-goo eyes and continues.
“Of course, we’ll be opening in all major cities,” she said. “Even the Democrat socialist ones.”
“And,” Jared smiles, “we’ll also be opening in some rather unexpected places–– like the Mohave Desert and the Badlands of South Dakota. There are real white space opportunities there, and we plan to capitalize on them.”
Ivanka gazes dreamily at her handsome husband and coos.
“We are planning to open big with over 3,000 retail stores,” she says, blowing kisses to her hubby.
“And our store prototype is 12,000 square feet,” Jared says. “A superstore for your live bait needs.”
Ivanka begins go-go dancing with reckless abandon.
“Every store has luxurious surroundings,” she says, shimmy-shimmy-sashaying her way across the floor. “Live bait will be displayed in glass cases illuminated by jeweler lights.”
“We’ll have original artwork by masters, plush carpeting, a brandy, and fine liquor bar,” Jared says. “Of course, there will be a barista at a La Marzocco Linea Mini Espresso Machine, and Fendi Casa furnishings throughout. We want it to be a comfortable, unparalleled live bait shopping experience. And retail personnel will be dressed in formal wear. We want to project professionalism at the highest level.”
When asked why the enterprise would not carry the internationally recognized and respected TRUMP brand, Ivanka quickly replied.
“We don’t want to be associated with a loser,” she snapped as she tossed her head from side to side.
Be on the lookout for the La Maison de Live Bait luxury store opening soon near you. And good luck at the ol’ fishin’ pond!
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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.