That George Santos is something else!
The freshman Congressman continues to make headlines. Rep. Santos tells The Lint Screen he has broken LeBron James’ all-time NBA scoring record.
“I know this is probably sad for LeBron,” Santos says. “I’m sure he felt great about beating Kareem’s record last night, and that was an incredible accomplishment. My hat’s off to him. Well done, Mr. James. But let’s face it. Records are made to be broken. And that’s exactly what I did.”
As of yesterday, LeBron has scoring record of 38,390 points (three more than Kareem) in his 20-year career. Santos claims he has scored 54,984 points.
“When I gave up volleyball due to some unfortunate injuries, I took up round ball,” Santos says, smiling. “I was what they call a ‘natch‘––people say they never saw such a gifted giant orange orb player. I got drafted into the NBA and won a dozen or more championship teams. I have a drawer filled with championship rings. I’m not much of a jewelry guy–– unless I’m going drag. Then, I like to accessorize. It’s sexy.”
Santos looks confused. “Where was I? Oh, yeah––basketball. Anyway, I was a scoring machine. Coaches said I was a ‘pure shooter‘ and I scored many points. So many doggone points, more than you could shake a stick at! But I never kept count. I just kept scoring the ball through the hooped contraption. They tell me I have the all-time scoring record. Which is pretty cool, right?”
Santos puffs his chest and rakes his fingers through his greasy hair.
“I guess I’ve given LeBron something to shoot for,” Santos says. “I wish him the best. LeBron seems like a nice guy.”
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