Michael Dewey of the legal firm Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, representing Fox News, spoke with The Lint Screen following the recent Dominion Voting Systems case settlement.
“This case was a travesty of justice,” Dewey says. “Fox News only did what its viewers demanded–– present a believable argument why America’s greatest president, President Trump, lost the 2020 election. He was cheated. He had to be. How else could Joe Biden have won? So Fox anchors did what they had to and fed the beast. They tickled the belly of viewership. And now poor Mr. Murdoch has to pay the piper.”
Randall Cheatem gives his partner rabbit punches to his kidneys. “Talk about journalistic integrity, stupid,” he whispers.
“Oh, yeah,” Dewey says, wincing in pain. “It’s crucial the public knows Fox News may have said some things that were not quite in the ZIP code of non-falsehoods, but the organization still stands for the utmost journalistic integrity standards. Viewers can believe everything they hear on Fox News because… well, just because it’s Fox News. I mean, Tucker Carlson would never lie.”
Atty. Kenneth Howe thinks the enormous payout is a criminal act.
“Dominion Voting Systems is a big baby,” Howe says. “This case proves they can’t take a punch. Our legal system is seriously broken when something like this can happen. A well-respected news organization makes a minor boo-boo, and suddenly, the woke company screams foul! This preposterous payout is a classic example of an organization looking for a nanny state.”
Off in the distance, the remains of Rupert Murdoch, shrouded in a dark, hooded robe and carrying a scythe, points a bony finger beckoning his legal team for a “consultation.”
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