Tennessee Rep. John Rose made the obligatory MAGA lemming speech of faux outrage over the prosecution of the convicted felon, twice impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump, as his 6-year-old son Guy made faces behind him. Trump was not amused.
“This kid needs more than a spanking,” the orange-faced leader of the MAGA cult said. “What the punk did was treason, and the penalty for that is execution. When I take back the Oval Office, the little boy is toast. It’s a disgrace what that little brat did, dishonoring the sacred space where so many proud January 6 patriots protested my getting cheating in the election. I won!!!”
Trump has been accumulating felony convictions like a black flannel suit attracts lint. Last week, he was found guilty of 34 felony counts by a New York jury of his peers.
“It was a joke,” the crybaby whined. “Those people on the jury are not my peers. They are scum. Commoners. Peasants. It was a total witch hunt supervised by Joe Biden, the worst president ever. I never slept with that woman, and I never cheated on my taxes. I am an honest man and loyal husband to what’s her name.”
In May, another New York jury found Trump guilty of sexually assaulting advice columnist E. Jean Carroll in 1996 and awarded her $5 million in damages.
“I never had sex with that woman,” Trump says again. “That was another witch hunt.”
The convicted felon slams a fist on the table. “I will get retribution, revenge, and justice,” he yells. “And I’m starting with that damn little kid. I’ll get my Supreme Court to hang his ass out to dry for acting like a damn baby!”
He storms out of the room, whining under his breath.
Read PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is Wilder than a Circus,” a twisted, funny ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. The book is also available as an audiobook. Buckle up and go.
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