Disgraced ex-President and current convicted felon Donald J. Trump appeared before a panel of reporters at the National Association of Black Journalists Conference in Chicago, and he made some startling claims.

“Is Kamala black?” Trump wondered. “She used to say she was Indian, but I doubt she could ride a horse or shoot a bow and arrow. Then, she suddenly declared she was black because she thought it would help her run against me. But is she really black? I don’t know because I don’t see race. Maybe she uses a lot of makeup.”

Trump shook his head in disgust.

“Me? I think you should just be who you are, and that’s why I am so authentic,” he said. “I say always tell the truth because, like it says in the Good Book, the truth shall get you free stuff. Or something like that. But Kamala can’t be trusted.”

He was just getting started. He crossed his arms and continued.

“Kamala, if that is her real name, she will say anything to get elected,” Trump blathered. “And she has no kids, so like my running mate J.D. Vance says, you know she’s a crazy cat lady. Probably smells like a litterbox. And I heard she hates the Jews, too. She’s a bad woman. And why does she have a name that’s so hard to pronounce? She won’t help the blacks or anybody.”

Trump also claimed he had done more “for the blacks” than Abraham Lincoln.

“Abe was a good guy,” Trump told the audience. “A very good guy who freed the blacks, but I did more because I’m friends with Tim Scott. He’s a black, black as the ace of spades, and we are friends. I love Tim––a very black man and a very good friend. But again, I don’t see race. Abe Lincoln? That’s all he saw was race. A bad president, Lincoln. Very overrated.”

Trump took great umbrage at some questions and stormed off the stage, pouting and stomping his feet.

“Where’s Hannity?” he asked aides. “I need a Hannity hug!”

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