Convicted sex offender and G.O.P. presidential candidate Donald J. Trump got his “groove on” last night at a Town Hall in Pennsylvania, and it was so exciting that people fainted.
“I’m like The Beatles,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “But I’m much more popular than they were. Sorry, John, Paul, George, and Bingo, Trump’s got you beat! I’m number one, with a bullet!!!”
The event was supposed to be for citizens to ask questions to the twice-impeached disgraced ex-president, but it wasn’t long before DJ Donnie took command, and a dance party broke out.
“I have excellent taste in music,” Trump bragged. “Incredible taste. I especially like gay anthems like Y.M.C.A. It reminds me of very good times at Club 54.”
“You have the very best musical taste, sir,” South Dakota Gov. and dog killer Kristi Noem said. “And your dance moves are like Michael Jackson, sir.”
“I’m much better than he was. Michael was not so much on the dancefloor. He was a one-trick pony, the moon dance. But I had many, many more moves. Michael was no Trump.”
For the next 39 minutes, Trump got “jiggy with it” as his curated playlist played, and his audience yawned and slowly snuck out to saner space.
“This is much better than hearing your stupid questions,” he shouted between songs. “Vote Trump! I’ll be a dictator on day one and your D.J. every day after!” Trump did his famous double-fisted pumps. “Hey, Justin, play me some Leo Sayer or Nickelback. I’m ready to get down and boogie!“
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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is Wilder than a Circus,” a twisted, funny ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. The book is also available as an audiobook. Buckle up and go.
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