Predator President Trump was not happy watching the Ryder Cup on Sunday.
“Our guys made a valiant effort,” he said. “But ultimately, the American Team was a bunch of losers. A disgrace to our country, the world’s hottest country. That must mean the foreigners rigged the games.”
So, to extract justice, the orange madmen dispatched an ICE good squad that arrested the Ryder Cup winners.
“These golfers were all the worst people in Europe,” Trump explained to The Lint Screen. “Murderers, rapists, insane maniacs. They’re thugs with golf clubs. We can’t have those people in our law-abiding country under the greatest leader of all time. Me.”
The golfers were confiscated by a masked army of ICE agents and taken to a nearby airport. They were herded onto a plane and sent to an unknown location.
“All I can tell you is it’s a very nasty prison in a country that knows how to treat not-so-nice people,” Trump said, smiling. “The best part is I got to keep the Ryder Cup.”
He lifts it and beams.
“I deserve this. I’m the greatest golfer ever. And I deserve at least a dozen Nobel Peace Prizes for the 112 wars I’ve stopped.”
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