Month: December 2025

“President Trump is a very honorable man,” Putin tells The Lint Screen. “He has much love in his heart and is a great humanitarian. Donald has stopped well over a dozen wars since winning the election, which he should not have had to win in the first place, since Biden cheated him in 2016. But being the gentle soul that he is, President Trump suffered the indignity in humble silence for the unity of his nation.”

“Proof is for suckers,” Hegseth snaps. “The president said they’re guilty as hell, and we can kill whoever we want and take the country’s oil as a penalty. Those are Trump rules.”