If you notice a pep in the step of felonious Trump, don’t be surprised. Fresh off being awarded the first FIFA Peace Prize, the needy orange lunatic scored another peace award.
Russian President Vladimir Putin announced that Trump was the recipient of the inaugural Russia Peace Prize.
“President Trump is a very honorable man,” Putin tells The Lint Screen. “He has much love in his heart, and he is a great humanitarian. Donald has stopped well over a dozen wars since winning the election, which he should not have had to win in the first place, since Biden cheated him in 2016. But being the gentle soul that he is, President Trump suffered the indignity in humble silence for the unity of his nation.”
Trump was visibly moved upon hearing the news of his award.
“This is a tremendous honor,” he says, eyes watering. “President Putin is a strong man. A very tough guy, and for him to single me out is an incredible accomplishment. The prize is much larger than the ugly Nobel Peace Prize. The Russia Peace Prize is also gold, solid gold, I think. And we like gold very much.”
Trump chokes back tears.
“I’ll say one last thing,” he says. “Zelensky, give back the land you took from Russia. Now! I want peace in Ukraine. Enough of your stupid fighting, you don’t have the cards. If you don’t, I’ll nuke you into oblivion. Don’t try me, punk.”
Spoken like a true peacenik.
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