MAGA is all about machismo, and MAHA is dedicated to healthy living. Yesterday, Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. posted a lively video featuring him and superstar Kid Rock, stripped down and exercising together.
The two are shown working out on exercise bikes, pumping iron, doing sit-ups and push-ups, plunging into cold and hot tubs (RFK Jr. in his jeans– so cool!), and even playing pickleball. For comic relief, Kid Rock flips off the camera because both MAGA and MAHA have always stood strong for “family values” as opposed to evil Bad Bunny, who won’t talk American!
The kicker of the video shows the two workout buddies drinking whole milk.
The video has been getting mixed reactions.
“I wanted to see them snorting coke on toilet seats,” Sam Relwork tells The Lint Screen. “RFK Jr recently said he used to do that, and I thought it’d be cool to see. Or maybe the guys eating urinal cake gummies, or doing a couple lines of measles.”
“Those buff dudes are so hot,” coos Samantha Woolencott. “But they’re a little too ‘into’ each other, if you know what I mean. Why are all the good ones infatuated with each other? What chance does a girl like me have?”
“Hear me now and believe me later,” declares bodybuilder Hans, “RFK Jr. and Kid Rock are girly men who cannot even pull up their own zippers.”
“We will pump them up!” commands workout partner Franz. “If they don’t cry like little babies who need their puny vaccines because they are so weak.” The pumped bodybuilders laugh.
Grab your jeans, America, work up a sweat, and afterward guzzle some whole milk while you enjoy a sumptuous feast of roadkill.
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
Discover more from The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.