Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell, who hasn’t shown up for work for months in his quest to destroy democracy, sent a new “ proof of life” photo from his hospital bed with his wife, Elaine Chao.
”We are smiling in the picture because we had just done the dirty deed, ” McConnell confided in an email to The Lint Screen. “I have the passion of a tiger––a very horny tiger, and we got it on hot and heavy. Let me tell you, this guy knows his way around the bed sheets! Ask any of my conquests–– they’ll tell you.”
While many speculate about McConnell’s health, or if he’s even alive enough to have health, the senator reassured the world he’s okay.
“I’m fit as a fiddle,” a young voice claiming to be McConnell claimed in a phone call. “Hunky dory fine. I may go out and run a half-marathon and press some iron. Could a dead man do that? Now please leave me alone and let me occupy my Senate seat for the full term and beyond. My power is eternal!”
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
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