Donald Trump is about to try selling Americans on his latest conspiracy theory.
The Lint Screen has obtained a copy of the speech that Trump will deliver at a televised event on Thursday, July 16.
DJT: “Good evening, my fellow patriots who want to make America great again. Our country faces the most dangerous threat ever. The Dumbocrat Party wants to turn the United States of America communist, and they will do anything to succeed in their mission. That’s why I’m asking Congress for an additional $350 billion to battle these enemies of the state.
These evil people cheated in the 2020 elections. I knew it. You knew it. Everyone knew it. FBI Director Kash Patel and his investigators confiscated election records in Georgia and have proof that the Dumbocrats had illegal foreigners and dead people voting them into office. They did this nationwide. Sleepy Joe Biden and his commie pals cheated me and all Republican candidates out of office. No one’s ever seen anything like it. I won’t stand for it.
I have instructed our well-trained ICE troops to immediately arrest cheating Senators Jon Ossoff, Raphael Warnock, and every Dumbocrat in political office. We will jail them in ICE facilities along with the illegals they snuck in to vote for them.
Because there has been so much election fraud, I am immediately suspending all midterm elections so that Republicans can take back 100% of the Senate and Congress, and we can get my agenda done to make America great again.
We are doing a tremendous job tackling inflation, improving medical care, and bringing peace to the world. Look at the stock market! Record highs. Look at the enormous jump in my family’s wealth. I’m sure your family is enjoying the same incredible riches. This is America’s golden age!
Under Trump, we have made our country the hottest in the world. Everyone respects us. We are no longer the laughingstock because now we are run by macho real men like the very handsome Sean Duffy––look at his tight, muscular cheeks in those slacks. And then we have the rugged good looks of Pete Hegseth. A real warrior, tough as nails. He’s so good-looking in uniform. God, I’d love to jump that! Would you like that, Pete? You know you would. (GIVE THUMBS UP SIGN)
In closing, sleep well, America. Trump is in charge! Thank you for your attention in this matter.
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
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