If there’s one thing wannabe king Donald J. Trump knows how to do, it’s throw a party.
“I love seeing my patriots having a great time,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “So when I found out there was a bipartisan organization, America250, that was planning all kinds of communist DEI activities, I immediately formed Freedom250, featuring activities with America’s favorite president–ME! I told my people to grab the lion’s share of the taxpayer money America250 was going to waste, and give it to me for my party. I also began shaking down corporations with government contracts. They know how to play ball.” Trump touches his nose.
He named his lovely mail-order bride Melania to help with planning.
“We booked some of America’s top entertainers, Lee Greenwood and Alexis Wilkens, the Kash-man’s main squeeze,” Trump says, smiling. “And people haven’t stopped coming. No one’s ever seen such big crowds. Unbelievably huge crowds.”
Despite multiple reports of equipment failures, melting ice cream, and sparse attendance, Trump and his propagandists at Fox News insist the celebration is an enormous success.
“It’s incredible to see so many people enjoying my party,” Trump says. “Many of them take a dip in my newly refurbished reflecting pool, where the water’s so clean you can drink it. A lot of people are saying it’s the fountain of youth. I don’t know, maybe it is.” He smiles widely. “I’m fixing everything in Washington, and I’ll make it even better with my ballroom, arch, and new Donald J. Trump monument and international airport.”
Trump grins and reflects on his many accomplishments.
“I don’t think anyone thought I’d become the most popular president ever,” Trump says. “From my brilliant tariffs to ICE goon squads and detention camps, to bombing Iran, fixing inflation, and bringing peace to the world, I’m making America great again in so many ways. And I’m happy to share my success with others. I think our founding fathers would be proud of the job I’m doing, even though most of them were losers.”
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
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