“I’m doing an incredible job,” convicted felon and adjudicated rapist Donald J. Trump brags. “I’ve made everything more affordable, stopped over twenty wars––I’m the first president to win a FIFA Peace Prize––and brought millions of jobs to America. The economy is booming, thanks to my tariffs. People have never been happier or prouder to be an American. I’m definitely the greatest leader ever.“
The delusional monster occupying the White House can’t stop praising himself.
“Joe Biden left this country in horrible shape,” Trump said. “No one thought the country could be repaired, but I’m such a great leader, I was able to fix everything. I stopped inflation dead in its tracks, I got us out of forever wars, and I turbo-charged our economy so every American is flush with cash. Hell, I made over $2 billion in my first year!”
But even after accomplishing so much, Trump believes the “deep state” is out to get him.
“Senators are dragging their feet on approving Todd Blanche as my Attorney General,” Trump says, shaking his head. “Tillis and Cornyn won’t approve paying $1.8 billion to the patriots defending democracy on January sixth. It’s horrible how they were treated, like common criminals. Those RINOs also don’t want to give the Trump family a free pass on tax audits forever. We deserve it after the awful way I’ve been treated. Anyone with the Trump name has a target on their back. Biden stole my election victory! It’s not fair!”
The pitiful, smelly man begins slow-humping an American flag.
“I love this country so much,” he says. “It’s time it loved me back.”
Natalie Harp enters the Oval with her diaper bag ready to do what needs to be done. Another day in paradise.
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
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