Convicted felon President Donald J. Trump has been stumping for Republican candidates ahead of the midterm elections, and many people have been shocked by some of his speeches.
Trump continually waxes poetic about how handsome some men are, noticing their rear ends, feet, hands, jawlines, calves, thighs, and crotches.
“Look at him,” Trump exclaimed, pointing to Ohio Sen. John Husted, who stood beside him on stage. “What an ass on that man. John, you’ve got a beautiful butt, you know that? It’s so tight and muscular. Fabulous cheeks. Um, um, um.” Trump shakes his head. “Whew! John’s the total package. Let me tell you, I wouldn’t mind seeing him in the showers. I’d tap that all day long.”
The 80-year-old adjudicated rapist (of a woman!) has also remarked on the attractiveness of military men.
“These men have such beautiful faces,” he said, inspecting the troops. “Look at their jawlines. Those bright eyes. I could get lost in those eyes. The men are perfect. They look like they’re from central casting. And what about those muscular bodies? I love how they fill out those snug uniforms.”
The president, his face caked with makeup, stepped back, looked the men up and down, and whistled. “We love a man in uniform, don’t we? Yes, we do. We love them so much. Look at those tight pants. I want to see these guys standing at attention; I can tell you that.” He smiled and looked at his secretary of defense. “Pete Hegseth, you can’t keep these boys all to yourself.” He laughed.
These types of risque comments have been going on for weeks, and concerned aides have called a tactical strike force of religious leaders to “pray the gay away” so the leader of the free world can continue doing his macho man acts like dancing to YMCA as he simulates masturbating two men, and gushing about home decor.
There has been no word on whether the prayer session was successful, but one religious zealot is doubtful.
“He may be too far gone,” he says, shaking his head. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
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