PD Scullin

I'm a smart ass humorist, ex-adman, founder of ASO Advertising, Atlanta. I will soon be publishing my first novel, SAWDUST. Look for it on Amazon. I have another website of marketing pontification–– http://www.EmpatheticAdman.com. I also once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Rejected BP Scripts

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Recently, BP launched an extensive media blitz to reassure Americans that it is dedicated to cleaning up the mess it has made in the Gulf of Mexico. The spokesman for the TV campaign is the company’s chief executive officer, Tony Hayward. The Lint Screen has obtained some early drafts of scripts allegedly penned by the … Read more

BPTV Launches

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There was one surprising silver lining on the black oil cloud of the recent failure of BP’s “Top Kill” effort– the live camera feed of the oil leak disaster drew millions of curious viewers from around the world. The viewer response was so strong, BP has decided to launch the live camera feed as a … Read more

Exxon Valdez To The Rescue!

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The idea is to take the Valdez (which now operates under the name Dong Fang Ocean) and sink it over the oil leak. When the legendary ship lands on top of the gushing oil well, the tanker will accept the oil from the oil spill into its willing and spacious hull.

“Lost” Is Found

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Six years. 120 episodes. Enough plots twists to make Aunt Annie (of pretzel fame) cry “uncle.” Tonight, the world will bait its breath and wait for answers to be revealed. Well, spoiler alert–– I’ll give you advance dish of what it all meant. Jack Shephard is Christ. Don’t ask why, he just is. Sayid represents … Read more

BP Says “Whoopsie!”

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An anonymous spokesperson for BP has confessed that the gigantic oil company responsible for the catastrophic Gulf of Mexico oil spill, “was never very good at math.””Originally we thought the oil spill was only 5,000 barrels of oil a day, which is only like, what, 210,000 gallons? No biggie. But we looked again recently and … Read more

World’s Most Valuable Baseball

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Mr. Ed, who in 1964 became the only horse to every steal home plate in a game the Tigers played against the Orioles. He almost trampled O’s catcher John Orsino to death. Orsino ironically had the nickname “horse” and laughed about the incident from his hospital bed. Well, some say it wasn’t laughter so much as moans of agony, but the story is good. Mr. Ed rarely gave autographs, making this baseball an invaluable sports relic.