Castor Presents Startling New Defense of Trump

Atty. Bruce Castor, one of the lawyers defending disgraced former President Donald J. Trump in his second impeachment trial, was lambasted after presenting his rambling, incoherent defense to Senators yesterday. Castor reached out to The Lint Screen (Washington Bureau) and requested an op-ed to continue his defense. Here it is in its entirety. Yesterday I … Read more

“I’m a victim of cancel culture,” Lou Dobbs Claims

Anchorman Lou Dobbs would take a bullet for disgraced former President Donald J. Trump, but that obedient loyalty couldn’t save him from being fired by Fox Business Channel. “Fox gave me my walking papers,” an upset Dobbs told The Lint Screen. “That’s the thanks I get for giving them the best years of my life. … Read more

Greene Claims Groundhog Stole Election From Trump, Controls Biden’s Mind

Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene sees monsters in every shadow. And on Groundhog Day, that monster is Punxsutawney Phil. “We must stop celebrating Groundhog Day,” Greene told The Lint Screen. “We can’t allow one rodent in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania to rule our weather. He’s condemning us to six more weeks of winter. Oh, … Read more

The McCarthy-Trump Transcript Leaked To The Lint Screen

The world of investigative journalism was rocked by The Lint Screen when it obtained an exclusive recording of the conversation between House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy and twice impeached former president Donald J. Trump. A reporter disguised as a Mar A Lago waiter planted a recording device in the room where the power brokers met. … Read more

GOP Politicians Contract “Jellyboneitis”- A Rare Spinal Disease

While Americans are engaged in a fierce battle with COVID-19, Republican politicians are grappling with a rare spinal disease called Jellyboneitis, a mysterious affliction that causes a complete failure of the spine. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell slithered to the microphone, was hung up on a coat rack, and spoke to reporters. “Three weeks ago I … Read more