We’re All Going To DIE!
Not to be an alarmist, but the four horsemen of the apocalypse are charging on the horizon–– riding evil angry pigs to deliver a death sentence to the entire human race! You included!!!!!
Humor
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
Fresh Disharooni
You hear? John Mayer’s giving up the pot. No lie, seriously– I mean he Twittered it and everything so it’s like got2B true, right?
I’ll bet the break-up with Jen was a wake up call for J-Man cuz I heard she was all steaming cuz he had time to Twitter his fans on his European tour but no time to call his girl on the hand-mike, and you know how Jen gets when she’s not getting the attention she deserves so she was like…
‘Gobsmacked’ Woman in Big Demand
Susan Boyle, the 47-year old U.K. singing sensation who wowed the world with her recent performance on the TV sensation “Britain’s Got Talent” says she is “Gobsmacked, absolutely gobsmacked” by her instant brush with fame. Incredibly, the clip of her performance has attracted over 15 million views on gobsmacking website sensation YouTube.
Ms. Boyle says the instant celebrity will not change her. “I plan to be my ownself, I do. I’m not about to let fame go to my head. If anyone gets in my way, I’ll crush them like a ripe grape. After all, I’m a big celebrity now, aren’t I? Don’t have to be dealing with lowly commoners. After all, I’m one of the beautiful people now!”
Casting Specs
Being an Adman, I’ve been involved with something we in the trade call commercials or spots (let me know if this is getting too ‘insider’).
One of the keys to creating a successful spot is casting, the hiring of actors to pretend they are speaking the words you’ve put in their mouths. To help actors, I write extensive casting specs so the person knows the backstory of the character and can deliver a believable performance that won’t suck.
Here are the casting specs for a spot we did recently…
Royal Scandals, An American Tradition
First Lady Michelle Obama has England all a-titter as a result of her brazen breach of protocol in greeting her highness, Queen Elizabeth II yesterday. The U.S. First Lady had the audacity to actually touch the Royal Mother’s royal backside– with her glove-less hand!
This flagrant assault to civility has Anglophiles worldwide “quite upset, actually. Not at all pleased.”
Pity Poor AIG
Americans own 80% of some company called AIG, which I believe stands for Assets Instantly Gone. We’ve taken almost $200 billion of our taxpayer money and shoveled it into a black hole that has lost trillions.
Now these same inconsiderate American taxpayers are bellyaching because the brainiacs running AIG were paid a paltry $165 million in bonuses. What a nation of ingrates we are!