The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
Many parents are outraged that President Barack Obama will soon be speaking directly to their children at schools via a “magic picture box” called TV.
Some parents are so upset, they are keeping their children out of school to avoid the political nature of Obama’s speech. Who could blame them?
I walked into a cell in cellblock D and saw a small hole in the wall between the cot and the toilet. I caught a glimpse of yellow paper and reached in. It was some handwritten notes, memoirs of an unknown prisoner about his Alcatraz experience. I quickly tucked the papers into my pocket since extracting anything from a national park is probably illegal (that didn’t stop me from stealing a sequoia at Muir Woods). I reprint the entire content here in the interest of exposing the horrors of life in Alcatraz prison.
Dear Your Most Honored Honor:
Back in June, you sentenced my loving husband, Bernard Madoff (Prisoner #61727-054), to serve 150-years in federal prison for his crimes of bilking innocent investors out of countless millions, their precious dreams and the remains of their sacred lives.
Met some black dude named Jimi. Says he’s playing guitar on Sunday and wants to make a political statement. Says he’s thinking of playing “The Hokey-Pokey” because in Vietnam, you’re either in, you’re out, or you’re shaking it all about. I tell him it seems kinda heavy-handed. I suggest he plays “The Star Spangled Banner” and let people draw their own conclusions. He threw me his guitar and said, “Thanks, kid.” I wonder if he’s really playing or just kidding me…
Rush warned us, now Lou Dobbs confirms it: President Barack Obama is an illegal alien. But that’s only half the story, morning glories…
On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong allegedly became the first man to walk on the moon. I say allegedly because 6% of the population believes it was a government hoax; that it was actually two chimps in the spacesuit shot on Mars, dressed to look like the surface of the moon.