The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
Met some black dude named Jimi. Says he’s playing guitar on Sunday and wants to make a political statement. Says he’s thinking of playing “The Hokey-Pokey” because in Vietnam, you’re either in, you’re out, or you’re shaking it all about. I tell him it seems kinda heavy-handed. I suggest he plays “The Star Spangled Banner” and let people draw their own conclusions. He threw me his guitar and said, “Thanks, kid.” I wonder if he’s really playing or just kidding me…
Rush warned us, now Lou Dobbs confirms it: President Barack Obama is an illegal alien. But that’s only half the story, morning glories…
On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong allegedly became the first man to walk on the moon. I say allegedly because 6% of the population believes it was a government hoax; that it was actually two chimps in the spacesuit shot on Mars, dressed to look like the surface of the moon.
Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina recently admitted to engaging in extramarital hanky-panky with an Argentinian woman. The following is a conversation Mr. Sanford had with his wife after his press conference confession.
The new proposal also has a time sensitive bonus. “And if you act before midnight Tuesday, July 7th, I’ll give you Michael Jackson’s sequined glove and a mint conditioned autographed copy of ‘Thriller’ with a $1 million bill attached. You get priceless Michael Jackson memorabilia, plus a more robust economy. But wait, there’s more! If you act NOW, I’ll even enroll every American lifetime membership in the Gold Brick Bullion of the Month Club. Imagine the joy of having your mailman hand deliver a gold bullion brick to your doorstep every single month! Don’t miss this incredible once in a lifetime opportunity to secure an address on Easy Street. Act now, if not sooner!”
In a startling development, a mysterious white knight has come forward with a proposal to rescue the United States economy from the flushing swirly bowl.
The mysterious man goes by the name “Bernie M. Adoff” and has contacted government officials with what he describes as “a foolproof plan to earn 20% annually on your money, easy as pie, with no worries, headaches or hassles”… “just give it to me and watch it grow, Grow, GROW!”