Hawley says, “FBI Should lighten up” on investigating insurrection

Missouri Senator Josh Hawley is a forgiving man, and he believes FBI Director Chris Wray should also be merciful. Yesterday, Hawley grilled Wray on the FBI response to the January 6 Capitol attack. The clean-cut Ivy League-educated dandy who portrays a populist in Washington became visibly agitated on learning the FBI is conducting an exhaustive … Read more

Rubio claims Black Lives Matter and Meryl Streep responsible for Capitol attack

Pity poor “Little Marco” Rubio. As many Republican politicians vie to curry favor with their master, twice impeached disgraced ex-president Donald J. Trump, Rubio has gotten lost in the shuffle of crazy conspiracy theorists. No more! Today Rubio told The Lint Screen about his latest accusation about the January 6 insurrection at the Capitol. “Some … Read more

GOP Zealots praise their golden god, “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me”

The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) has kicked off, and America had better get ready to feel the love of true Trumpers. CPAC is known as the Lollapalooza of the lunatic fringe, where rabid Republicans gather like moths to a flame and worship their god, disgraced former President Donald J. Trump, who they believe to … Read more

Gaetz blames Ted Cruz’s daughters for insurrection, “They must be grounded”

Today’s ‘Florida man’ news story is a doozy. Florida’s Republican Congressional Representative Matt Gatez told The Lint Screen the insurrection on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol was the direct result of Ted Cruz’s twelve and ten-year-old daughters. “Those girls are born troublemakers,” the righteous politician claims. “They forced poor Senator Cruz to take an … Read more

Johnson claims Antifa, illegals, and actors were behind Capitol invasion

Wisconsin Republican Sen. Ron Johnson should not be around sharp objects. He could hurt himself. The unhinged looney spun his ridiculous conspiracy theories yesterday at the first public Senate hearing about the Capitol attack on January 6. “I’m sick and tired of people blaming supporters of President Trump,” Johnson told The Lint Screen. “I wanted … Read more