Kemp Opens Chain of Funeral Homes, Sees Big Opportunity

Before he became Georgia’s governor, Brian Kemp was a successful businessman making money in agribusiness,  financial services, and real estate. Now he has set his astute business mind to a new industry–– death! Kemp came to The Lint Screen offices to discuss his new business venture. “My daddy always told me, he said, son–– when … Read more

Patriots Demand Freedom To Work; Protest “Fake Virus”

A patriot is someone who loves liberty and country more than life itself. Many angry patriots are taking to the street and protesting against “the unlawful lockdown demanded by brainiacs who believe in science.” The Lint Screen dispatched a reporter who was expendable to cover this breaking story, and here is his report: A group … Read more

Hydroxychloroquine Also Effective For Erectile Dysfunction Says Prez

For weeks, President Donal Trump has been pushing Hydroxychloroquine as an effective drug in the treatment of the COVID-19 coronavirus, to the ashamed eye rolls of Dr. Anthony Fauci, one of those smartypants who believe in “science.” But like a petulant two-year-old, the president will not be ignored. He’s mentioned the drug during recent daily … Read more

Jared Wants All Americans To Be Proud of USA’s Stockpile

Anyone who says Jared Kushner is a cold-hearted prick who would be nowhere without nepotism, a silver spoon in his mouth, and the stick up his ass doesn’t understand this complex man. The president’s son-in-law sat down in the offices of The Lint Screen and talked about his management of the federal stockpile of medical … Read more