Chinos Make Man’s Butt “Look Huge”
“I don’t have the most athletic body,” said the 34-year-old actuary from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. “But the chinos I bought at Sears made my butt look huge! I mean, like the backside of a rhino-big.”
Humor
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
“Guess Nuclear Code Game” Played With Russians
The Russians continued guessing as the president chided them. “You’re cold as a Ukranian winter, fellas. Keep guessing!” The game continued for twenty minutes.
New FBI Director Candidate “Looks Perfect”
“The Attorney General and President have been diligent in finding someone who’ll be independent and enforce the laws of the land…”
O’Reilly To Be The Bachelor
“Listen, pinhead,” he told this reporter. “I’m sick and tired of all these skirts saying I made sexual advances on them. Not true. Complete fabrication.”
O’Reilly’s face turned red as he began stabbing the air with his index finger and continued.
O’Reilly Outraged At Getting Canned
Fox News may have killed Bill O’Reilly, but his gravesite will not be a no-spin zone. In an exclusive interview with The Lint Screen, the megastar opened up about his mistreatment by Fox. “I made those people billions, billions of dollars over the years, and for that, they give me the bum’s rush out the … Read more
United Airlines Offering Passenger Insurance
United to offer protection to “smart passengers”