The Lint Screen

Tag: 2012 Presidential election

  • Watson Enters Race

    The 45th president of the United States of America. Who is Watson?
    Recently it was rumored that a new candidate would enter the 2012 presidential election race, but all the wild speculation about ghosts, brooms and aliens were wrong. The new candidate has announced his plans to seek the Oval Office, and he speaks pretty funny– because he’s not even a human being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yes, the new candidate is none other than Watson, the super brainiac computer built by IBM to win game shows.

    The Chester A. Arthur robot

    “Watson’s entering the race is a real game changer,” said noted political analyst, C. Henrick Taddlewhacker. “Watson is a proven competitor. If Brad Rutter or Kyle Jennings were running, the smart money would be on Watson. I don’t see any human or nonhuman candidates who can challenge his enormous intellect. He would be the first computer president since the Chester A. Arthur robot served from 1881-1885. While the Arthuratron 6000 had a serviceable intellect, Watson is far, far superior. However, I must say that the Chester A. Arthur robot was exceptional in the whisker-growing department. Watson’s biggest challenge will be trying to communicate without stating everything he says in the form of questions. That could get irritating, unless he’s talking with Alex Trebek.”

    No other presidential candidate has commented on this latest entry into the race.

  • New Prez Candidate To Announce Soon

    The Lint Screen reporters scramble to get the scoop.
    The universe is a-jitter with news that a surprising new non-human candidate will soon be entering the 2012 presidential race.

    The rumor mill is grinding furiously that the new candidate will not be an adorably cute animal, single celled organism or lizard-like creature. Speculation is it could be a ghost (the ghosts of Abe Lincoln, Conway Twitty and Gene Rayburn have been mentioned), an alien or an inanimate object from the broom family. Heavy speculation is a whisk broom, although smart money favors a fireplace broom–– either could be a serious contender.

    At any rate, other candidates in the race are said to be very afraid of yet another hat in the ring for the highest office in the land, even though it is on the ground floor of the White House.

    The Lint Screen will break this story first. It’s what we do. Depend on it.