Watson Enters Race

” I don’t see any human or nonhuman candidates who can challenge his enormous intellect. He would be the first computer president since the Chester A. Arthur robot served from 1881-1885. While the Arthuratron 6000 had a serviceable intellect, Watson is far, far superior. However, I must say that the Chester A. Arthur robot was exceptional in the whisker-growing department. Watson’s biggest challenge will be trying to communicate without stating everything he says in the form of questions. That could get irritating, unless he’s talking with Alex Trebek.”

New Prez Candidate To Announce Soon

Speculation is it could be a ghost (the ghosts of Abe Lincoln, Conway Twitty and Gene Rayburn have been mentioned), an alien or an inanimate object from the broom family. Heavy speculation is a whisk broom, although smart money favors a fireplace broom–– either could be a serious contender.