The Lint Screen has received more details about the contents of Osama bin Laden’s secret diary discovered in the raid on his pad last year, including the following startling entries:
– “Am sick and tired of all my friends sending me requests on Facebook to join Farmville. Why would I care to tend crops? Has the world gone nuts?”
– “Wanted to order some chinos from J. Crew, but for the life of me couldn’t recall my inseam size. Is this what growing older is all about, forgetting everything?”
– “Can’t recall the name of wife #4. Will just call her ‘snoogums’ and be done with it. Cursed, stupid, wretchedly useless brain!”
– “Constipated. Again. Deviled eggs and goat casserole do not agree with me.”
– “My porn collection feels far too familiar. Need variety. Amish?”
– “If it ever snows, I swear I’m making angel wings, then people will see I’m not such a bad guy.”
– “I feel vulnerable. Vulnerable, lonely and fat.”
– “Diary, you are only one who understands me. Maybe I should capture Dr. Phil.”
