Tag: boxes of ziti

  • Curling For Dollars

    Curling losses can put your heart and wallet on ice.
    Yeah, right, so tonight I lost ten boxes of ziti betting on team USA in curling against the Swiss in the Winter Olympics, and I’m still steaming.

    I mean, come on, we had the game in the bag and blew it!

    I was in a sports bar with some fans watching on TV and here’s what I heard:
    “Nice rock. Does your wife curl?”
    “I haven’t seen a stone toss so lame since Brian Jones got das boot by Mick Jagger.”
    “You call that sweeping? Gimme a break, I’ve seen better sweeps in the pet food aisle at WalMart!”
    “Broom like you mean it! Own the house, own the house!”
    “Dudes, this game’s just like shuffleboard, and none of you are drinking! How you expect to play to win if you’re not drinking? Pop a cold one, for crying out loud!”
    “Sweeper’s got a rubber arm, sweeper’s got a rubber arm…”
    “Hey, man, they’re Swiss. Kick their neutral ass!

    So it went. A disgruntled and disappointed crowd, and a crying me– a man who took it in the heart and the bank account. Curling is cruel, so very cruel.