British Petroleum

Rejected BP Scripts

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Recently, BP launched an extensive media blitz to reassure Americans that it is dedicated to cleaning up the mess it has made in the Gulf of Mexico. The spokesman for the TV campaign is the company’s chief executive officer, Tony Hayward. The Lint Screen has obtained some early drafts of scripts allegedly penned by the … Read more

BP Says “Whoopsie!”

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An anonymous spokesperson for BP has confessed that the gigantic oil company responsible for the catastrophic Gulf of Mexico oil spill, “was never very good at math.””Originally we thought the oil spill was only 5,000 barrels of oil a day, which is only like, what, 210,000 gallons? No biggie. But we looked again recently and … Read more

U.S. To Be Billed For Oil Spill

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BP, Halliburton and Transocean, the three companies responsible for construction of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig that exploded on April 20 and has been leaking millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico since, have decided enough is enough. They are billing the U.S. Government for potential income lost as a result of … Read more

Making Oilade

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BP announced today plans to release new BP Fish Sticks in grocery stores. The move, viewed as putting into the practice the saying “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” has many environmental groups furious. “It’s absolutely unconscionable for BP to do this,” said Roger Pretpopp, head of the Gulf Coast Environmental Protection League. “The … Read more