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Letters to The Lint Screen
It is obvious you are prejudiced against these superior creatures and harbor deep-rooted resentment and hostilities that are completely unfounded and, quite frankly, border on hysterical paranoia. You seem to think that simply because you have witnessed excrement flinging by monkeys in zoo cages that all members of their society are dangerous and should be…
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The Patch Fund
Furry friends with bad cases of jangly nerves, dieting monkeys, post-coital chimps– they all need our help. They can’t resist the seductive allure of nicotine, but we can help give them a fighting chance by being strong when they are weak.
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Over 20,000 Eyes Served
I’m happy to report that on March 23, 2009, The Lint Screen had its 10,000th hit, meaning Lint has been served to over 20,000 eyes, providing some of those eyes are not covered in eyepatches. My blog stats report I have minimal readership among pirates, but I do pretty well with shoulder-perching parrots.
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My Bad: An Apology
Upon further review of my last few entries where I unfairly said completely asinine and unfounded things about chimpanzees, I wish to apologize to all of humanity and especially the cherished primate community. Chimps are great and noble and deserve praise for everything they do. They are our friends and should…
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Are We Making A $700 Billion Mistake? (Pt. 1)
I don’t know about you, but I’m worried sick. This financial market meltdown is giving me the willies, and now I think I see the devious greedy paws of chimps on the taxpayer’s checkbook. Get a load of this: while Bernanke and Paulson are begging politicians for a big fat Wall…