The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
President Barack Obama is one smooth and shrewd operator. There was much mystery shrouding the small private dinner Obama held with China’s President Hu Jintao on Tuesday evening. The beltway was abuzz with who was attending and what the purpose was of the dinner held the day before an official state dinner. Now it has … Read more
Discerning newshounds do not wish to wade through the morass of the 250,000 leaked diplomatic cables posted recently by WikiLeaks, so the staff of The Lint Screen have selected the following choice morsels for your enlightenment and amazement. 1. Russian prime minister, Vladimir Putin is reported to frequently brush his teeth without first flossing. “It … Read more
The U.S. government is angry as hornets who’ve been pestered by telemarketers during their favorite TV show, thanks to China getting greedy as a U.S. banker.
When the U.S. money people opened their monthly credit statement from China, they discovered that the Chinese had moved up their payment date and jacked up their interest rate, just like U.S. banks are doing to credit card holders.
Recently I was asked to give the commencement address to “The Cherished Sweet Angels Pre-K” graduating class. Here’s my speech in its entirety with editorial comments:
Good morning, Cherished Sweet Angels, and congratulations on receiving a sheepskin for doing little more than poking straws into juice boxes and for rarely mistaking glue sticks for ChapSticks. (TITTERS OF NERVOUS LAUGHTER FROM PARENTS AND CHILDREN.) For these incredible accomplishments we are gathered to honor and blow smoke up your graduation gowns. (ANGRY STARES FROM PARENTS. CHILDREN LOOK BORED.)
Last week, we American taxpayers bought ourselves AIG. I’ve never owned an insurance company, but I do have a few proposals about running our new enterprise: Let’s outsource for cheap labor in China and India. Let’s not insure any high risk people. Let’s continually raise premiums. If there are claims, let’s dispute … Read more