Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina recently admitted to engaging in extramarital hanky-panky with an Argentinian woman. The following is a conversation Mr. Sanford had with his wife after his press conference confession.
MARK: Hello, Jenny.
JENNY: Mark, honey, you’re home! How was your hike on the Appalachian Trail?
MARK: It was good, but geez, that thing’s longer than I thought… I ended up in Argentina.
JENNY: Oh, you poor dear. Are you all right?
MARK: I’m fine. Funny story, though– at the end of my hike, I met this woman and she cared for me.
JENNY: That’s nice.
MARK: And, well, I felt this connection with this woman.
JENNY: Connection?
MARK: She’s my soulmate, Jenny. My true love. My destiny. My heart’s desire and my soul’s purpose. She’s my everything and I have never felt such intense emotional love in my entire life. And don’t even get me started on how hot the physical attraction and lusty acrobatics were. It was incredible!
JENNY: She sounds wonderful, dear.
MARK: But, here’s the thing, Jenny. The more I thought about it and the more the media hounded me, well, the more I realized that maybe I shouldn’t be with this Argentinian goddess– what with me being married to you and everything. Plus the fact we have like what, four kids together.
JENNY: So she’s not your soulmate?
MARK: Don’t be silly– she’s my soulmate, that’s for sure. But you see, Jenny, I think maybe I shouldn’t have a mistress, so I’m going to do something very brave and very, very strong. I am going to resolve myself to falling in love with you, my wife, again!
JENNY: But she’ll always be your soulmate?
MARK: Absolutely. But you’ll always be my wife, Jenny, because a politician needs a wife to be all Tammy Wynette for him. And besides, a husband should love his wife, right?
JENNY: Oh, Mark, you’re so romantic, I think I’m going to cry.
MARK: Yep, I’m an incurable romantic, for sure, but no waterworks, please, Jenny. Now listen, I got to make a quick call to South America, then we can go out for a nice romantic dinner. How’s that sound?
JENNY: It sounds wonderful, Mark. I love you, dear, I love you so much!
MARK: And I’m working on it, babe.