Jerry Ossenwold

Tuggles Pulls Out of Prez Race

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In a startling development, Mr. Tuggles, the cute kitten from Canfield, Ohio, has pulled out of the 2012 U.S. presidential race following recent allegations of “doing bad things, very bad things” to a mysterious cat. Jerry Ossenwold, campaign manager for Mr. Tuggles, issued a prepared statement at the press conference held this afternoon in Walpole, … Read more

Tuggles Accused of Hanky Panky

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The presidential campaign for cute kitten candidate, Mr. Tuggles, was rocked today when a mysterious female cat came forward and claimed that the precious prez-would-be feline “did bad, bad things” during a relationship with her. The whistleblower cat would not detail specifics of what exactly Mr. Tuggles did, but she said, “they were definitely bad … Read more

Tuggles Claims Paws Not Housebroken

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Jerry Ossenwold, campaign manager for cute kitten prez candidate sensation, Mr. Tuggles, today called a major press conference in which he made allegations that Santy Paws, the adorable puppy presidential hopeful, is not housebroken. “How can we possibly put that mutt in the White House if he ain’t even housebroken? Do we want pee stains … Read more

Paws Tells Tuggles He’ll “Bring It But Good”

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Adorable presidential pup contender, Santy Paws, is not going to back down from the cute kitty presidential candidate, Mr. Tuggles. In response to Jerry Ossenwold, Mr. Tuggles’s campaign manager who recently challenged the puppy to “bring it,” Santy Paws’s campaign manager Sam Merchant says, “Oh, he’ll bring it, bring it but good! Santy will bring … Read more