Justin Bieber

The Bieb Claims Chickens Caused Arrest

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Pop sensation Justin Bieber claims “fowl play” as the cause of his recent arrest for drunk driving, resisting arrest, driving without a valid license and felonious assault of boyish cuteness. Bieber, 19, was released on $2,500 bond and told The Lint Screen that he was “set up like a bowling pin by irate chickens.” JB … Read more

McChrystal Clear

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“I don’t really like coconut, and anyone who does should be shot.”
“Afghanistan will never be a popular tourist attraction. There’s too many bullets in the air.”
“Coke versus Pepsi? No contest– Coke! Obama probably likes Pepsi!”
“Obama would never have the guts to fire me. He’s afraid of me– Biden, too.”