Last week’s “Balloon Boy” story was all the rage, until it was discovered to be a hoax.
Now Richard and Mayumi Heene say all three of their sons are missing and they’d like America’s help in finding them.
“We got some tremendous ratings last week with just one of our kids missing, so we should do triple the viewership with all three of those rascals gone,” said Richard Heene.
“Yes, they are really missing, I swear to God,” added his wife.
“What we’d like to do is have a 24-hour channel and have everyone look for our kids and report in with their findings. It’d be kind of like a Situation Room show without the beard. Mayumi and me would be the hosts, but here’s what makes it even more exciting. If we get some sponsors, we could give away prizes to the people who find our kids– who are really missing for real this time.”
“Yes, our three sons are missing, we haven’t seen hide nor hair of them for a day now,” said Mayumi as she doctored her make-up.
“So the premise of the show is kind of a Where’s Waldo? deal, but we’d call our show ‘My Three Sons Are Missing’ playing off the old popular sitcom.”
“But there is nothing funny about our children being gone. They are really missing this time, I mean really, really missing,” said a distraught Mayumi Heene as she sliced onions and began to cry. “I am so sad, look at me crying. I am crying tears of sorrow.”
“There, there, Mayumi,” said Richard Heene, “with America’s help, we’ll find our kids on My Three Sons Are Missing. Uh, babe, please don’t bogart that onion, dear– daddy needs a little emotive time, too.”