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More From OBL’s Secret Diary
The Lint Screen has received more details about the contents of Osama bin Laden’s secret diary discovered in the raid on his pad last year, including the following startling entries: – “Am sick and tired of all my friends sending me requests on Facebook to join Farmville. Why would I care to tend crops? Has…
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al-Qaeda Leader al-Zawahiri Updating Resume
Following the assassination of Osama bin Laden in his Pakistan porn crib on May 2, Ayman al-Zawahiri became the acting leader of the no-goodnik al-Qaeda organization. al-Zawahiri, long recognized as a dastardly mastermind but lacking in the charisma department, is reportedly fed up with leading the organization after almost four months. “He’s had it,” said…
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Bin Laden’s Bucket List Revealed
In the stash of info and porn gathered from Osama bin Laden’s crib/compound on May 1, a rare insight into the madman was released today: his official personal bucket list. In a world exclusive, The Lint Screen is pleased to present it in its entirety. (NOTE: The original list was in the angry kook’s handwriting,…
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al Queda Franchisees Furious at Lack of Leadership
Across the globe, other al Quedaes express similar frustrations. “Osama bin Ladin was a great leader,” said a franchisee in a popular unnamed location. “He’d send us motivational videos and memos all the time. Even motivational posters with a picture of kitten with its paws hanging from a rope and the words ‘Hang in there,…
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bin Laden Widows Trash Their Old Man
“Ozzie was a pig,” says wife #1, “the man never picked-up after himself in his life. He was a total slob. His mother spoiled him rotten–a real mama’s boy, that one. And his personal hygiene? Forget about it. The guy stunk like a dipped skunk, and wouldn’t know deodorant or a toothbrush if it bit…