The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
The Lint Screen has received more details about the contents of Osama bin Laden’s secret diary discovered in the raid on his pad last year, including the following startling entries: – “Am sick and tired of all my friends sending me requests on Facebook to join Farmville. Why would I care to tend crops? Has … Read more
The Lint Screen has received a copy of Osama bin Laden’s secret diary captured in the raid by Navy SEALs on his compound May 2, 2011. The unannounced visit resulted in bin Laden’s nagging painful death. The details of the diary are surprising. The diary, measuring 4″ x 6″ has a shiny illustrated cover depicting … Read more
Following the assassination of Osama bin Laden in his Pakistan porn crib on May 2, Ayman al-Zawahiri became the acting leader of the no-goodnik al-Qaeda organization. al-Zawahiri, long recognized as a dastardly mastermind but lacking in the charisma department, is reportedly fed up with leading the organization after almost four months. “He’s had it,” said … Read more
In the stash of info and porn gathered from Osama bin Laden’s crib/compound on May 1, a rare insight into the madman was released today: his official personal bucket list. In a world exclusive, The Lint Screen is pleased to present it in its entirety. (NOTE: The original list was in the angry kook’s handwriting, … Read more
Across the globe, other al Quedaes express similar frustrations. “Osama bin Ladin was a great leader,” said a franchisee in a popular unnamed location. “He’d send us motivational videos and memos all the time. Even motivational posters with a picture of kitten with its paws hanging from a rope and the words ‘Hang in there, baby!’ Very inspiring stuff. Now? Now I can’t even get a sign saying ‘Employees must wash hands before returning to their dastardly douchebag behavior.’ I mean, come on, how hard difficult is it to deliver on that?!“
“Ozzie was a pig,” says wife #1, “the man never picked-up after himself in his life. He was a total slob. His mother spoiled him rotten–a real mama’s boy, that one. And his personal hygiene? Forget about it. The guy stunk like a dipped skunk, and wouldn’t know deodorant or a toothbrush if it bit him!”