Ahmed Hired To Build New Apple Watch

Apple leader Tim Cook is one smart cookie. The tech powerhouse kingpin told The Lint Screen he’s hired Irving, Texas troublemaker Ahmed Mohamed, the Muslim teen suspended from school and arrested earlier this week for bringing to school a homemade clock he built. “The kid’s obviously smart,” said Cook, as he gave himself a prison … Read more

Obama To Rename More U.S. Landmarks

President Barack Obama is on a roll. After announcing his plan to change the name of Alaska’s Mt. McKinley to Mt. Denali, The Lint Screen has learned he has other name changes he’ll soon put in place. The Washington Monument will soon be renamed Pointy Cement Skyscraper. The Statue of Liberty will carry the moniker … Read more

Warren G. Harding Was Ashley Madison Member

Following the recent news that Warren G. Harding, the 29th President of the United States fathered a love child in 1919 with Nan Britton, The Lint Screen has learned he was also one of the earliest members of the Ashley Madison extramarital affairs website. The Ashley Madison website was recently hacked and a list of … Read more