Tag: Russ Verblockin

  • Single Celled Organism Declines Presidential Run

    The world reacts to the tragic news.
    The world held its collective breath in anticipation of the announcement of whether a single celled organism would make a run for the White House, and today the world received news that caused it to exhale in disappointment.

    Those who smelled the exhale said that the world had obviously been drinking and eating garlic.

    Russ Verblockin, a spokesman for single celled organism said that it had decided not to run for the presidency because it wished to spend more time with its petri dish family.

    “While single celled organism believes it could have brought about the change America so desperately needs,” Verblockin said in a prepared statement, “it also feels that it has an obligation to its loved ones and did not wish to bring them under the media’s microscopic scrutiny. I hope everyone respects single celled organism’s privacy.”

    The spokesman then broke down in tears and was ushered away.