The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
The idea is to take the Valdez (which now operates under the name Dong Fang Ocean) and sink it over the oil leak. When the legendary ship lands on top of the gushing oil well, the tanker will accept the oil from the oil spill into its willing and spacious hull.
Six years. 120 episodes. Enough plots twists to make Aunt Annie (of pretzel fame) cry “uncle.” Tonight, the world will bait its breath and wait for answers to be revealed. Well, spoiler alert–– I’ll give you advance dish of what it all meant. Jack Shephard is Christ. Don’t ask why, he just is. Sayid represents … Read more
An anonymous spokesperson for BP has confessed that the gigantic oil company responsible for the catastrophic Gulf of Mexico oil spill, “was never very good at math.””Originally we thought the oil spill was only 5,000 barrels of oil a day, which is only like, what, 210,000 gallons? No biggie. But we looked again recently and … Read more
Mr. Ed, who in 1964 became the only horse to every steal home plate in a game the Tigers played against the Orioles. He almost trampled O’s catcher John Orsino to death. Orsino ironically had the nickname “horse” and laughed about the incident from his hospital bed. Well, some say it wasn’t laughter so much as moans of agony, but the story is good. Mr. Ed rarely gave autographs, making this baseball an invaluable sports relic.
“When one considers that our planet is two-thirds water, and the oil spilled thus far is only a couple million gallons, well, obviously it is hardly even a speck of sand on the beach, if I might mix my metaphors.”
BP, Halliburton and Transocean, the three companies responsible for construction of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig that exploded on April 20 and has been leaking millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico since, have decided enough is enough. They are billing the U.S. Government for potential income lost as a result of … Read more