The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
A spokesman for the reigning monarch issued the following statement this morning. “While the Queen does love a good festive dance, she believes that ‘the putting of a left foot in and a left foot out and the putting of a left foot back in and shaking it all about’ is not in keeping with the solemn occasion of this Royal union. She regrets the ill feelings any may hold by this decision, but she believes it is in the best interest of the Monarchy.”
The Donald is now claiming that the President may not be a human being, he may be an alien from another planet.
We suspect William’s knees will turn to soft toffee pudding when he catches a good gander at his mate all pretty in pink, ready for a dance and a drink. Terrence Ogden Nigel Cuppenstunce, a noted British fashion designer, says the dress is surprising in a number of ways.
Apparently Queenie-poo will never forgive me for “the macaroni salad incident” that happened when I met the Queen Mum in 2004. It was a joke, but let’s face it– The Royals have never been known for their senses of humor (or “humour” as they say across the pond).
Violators face serious prosecution including five-inch hot metal spiked driven through eyeballs, Louisville Sluggers ‘going for the fences’ on the kneecaps, repeated viewings of Louie Anderson’s stand-up routines and in extreme cases, beheading and genial mocking.
Here’s a swatch from President Dwight D. Eisenhower’s “see you later” speech to the American people. Now it’s 50 years later, and his words are still haunting, especially in light of how they’ve been ignored. Today, we’ve got us a trillion-bucks-a-year big business in defense!