Year: 2015

ISIS to Open Social Media Agency

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The evil band of no-goodniks known as ISIS has long been heralded for its savvy social media skills. The terrorist group’s use of Twitter, Tinder, Facebook, YouTube, Social Sugar Smax!, LinkedIn, eHarmony and Let’s Connect, Okeedokee? has been heralded for generating propaganda and recruiting new psychopathic nut jobs. Now The Lint Screen has learned that … Read more

Green Beer Is A Cruel Hoax

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The Lint Screen has spent years doing an exhaustive study into the phenomenon of green beer that magically appears every St. Patrick’s Day, and we’ve discovered that it’s a ruse–– a cruel hoax perpetrated on the drinking public by profit-thirsty brewers. “Beer makers just add a bunch of algae to the beer,” reported our deep-throated … Read more

Anger In America

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I was guilty, not even Saul Goodman could have pled my case. It was Saturday, the office parking lot of 22 spaces was empty when I pulled into it, so I slid into a space closer to the elevator than my own. I figured this was my right as a lazy American. Why should I … Read more

O’Reilly & Williams Go Into A Bar…

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Holland Bar in Hell’s Kitchen seemed an odd spot to meet a couple multi-millionaire media stars, but The Lint Screen recently descended into this dive bar to eavesdrop on a conversation between Fox Newsman Bill O’Reilly and NBC Anchor Brian Williams. The two tall men sat at the end of the bar with tumblers of … Read more

Man Not Satisfied With “Good Enough”

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Steve “Lippy” Wasinfurg is a very hard man to please. The assistant manager of a Target store in Gladstone, Virginia recently spoke to The Lint Screen about his views on life. “Good enough isn’t good enough,” the 38-year old divorced father of four said as he lighted a Marlboro Light and spat on the ground, … Read more

Bill Proposed To Arm Prisoners

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Alabama Congressman Hank Tippsmon has introduced “The Behind Bars Protection Act”, a bill designed to curtail violence among the over 2.5 million people incarcerated in America. The revolutionary law is simple in its execution–– every prisoner would be issued a firearm and ammunition for self protection purposes. “Crime is a real problem in America,” explained … Read more