MLK Pic To Star Matt Damon
The day after the Oscars, Sony Pictures announced it has greenlighted the long-awaited biopic of Martin Luther King.
Month: February 2016
! Announces Presidential Run
Now that Jeb! has officially sat on the sidelines of the 2016 Presidential race, his running mate ! has decided to go it alone. “! really feels like it has a real shot,” a spokesperson told The Lint Screen. “! is the most energetic and qualified punctuation mark in the English language, and has as … Read more
Kanye Hires MC Hammer As Financial Consultant
Kanye West claims to be $53 million in debt, and his plea to Mark Zuckerberg for a cool billion has gone “unfriended”–– but a new man has entered the picture to save K’s bacon The Lint Screen has learned. MC Hammer! The legendary hip-hop star says he is “overjoyed” to be called on for help. … Read more
Wisconsin Man Secures Second Facebook Friend
Tom Woolery is having his mail forwarded to cloud nine. The 42-year old Wausau, Wisconsin dentist just learned he has his second friend on Facebook. “Got to say, I’m pretty darn jacked,” said the bachelor as he flossed. “I wasn’t so sure about this social media thing, but now that Betsy Ordencott has confirmed me … Read more
O Brothers, Where Art Thou?
It saddens me to report that Joel and Ethan Coen are mortals. They have finally written, directed and edited a not-so-great movie called “Hail, Caesar!” It’s not a bad film, it has its moments and some nice scenes, but it’s overall a miss for the brothers Coen. Wah wah wah. As a fanboy, I believe … Read more
Cruz Says Trump Quit Race
A jubilant Ted Cruz told a packed auditorium in Manchester, New Hampshire that his main rival in Tuesday’s primary, Donald J. Trump, had dropped out of the race. “The Donald has quit the presidential race because that’s what quitters do–– they quit,” said a smiling Cruz.”Let’s face it, Trump’s a born loser. And Rubio, Carson, … Read more