Month: February 2017

Clients of PricewaterhouseCoopers Demand Do-Overs

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Following last night’s epic Oscars fail by PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC) by mixing up the envelopes for the Best Picture winner, many of the accounting firm’s clients are demanding their tax returns be re-done. “How can we trust their calculations?” asked Comax Industries President Maxwell Fluber. “For all I know, they put our tax return in the … Read more

White House-Approved Media Questions

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Following President Donald J. Trump spanking of fake news yesterday, the White House has drafted a list of approved questions for the media to ask in press conferences. “We had to do this,” Jeremy Bostwich, White House senior advisor told The Lint Screen. “Since the fake news is running rampant and not reporting the excellence … Read more

Wilson: A Bitter Washed-Up Hollywood Has Been

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If your name is Wilson, Hollywood ain’t exactly La La Land singing, dancing and technicolor love-goo! The handsome volleyball, who co-starred with Tom Hanks in 2000’s blockbuster movie Cast Away, has been on the beach ever since looking for another major motion picture role. “It’s a damn shame,” Coco Vilsette, Wilson’s agent told The Lint … Read more

Douglass Falls In Bowling Green Massacre

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In a tragic turn of events, Frederick Douglass, who President Trump recently recognized for his “amazing work” died as a result of The Bowling Green Massacre. Douglass was 198-years-old. “It’s a horrible end to an incredible life,” Prof. William Jebberby of Gibney University told The Lint Screen. “It’s always sad when someone gets cut down … Read more

Punxsutawney Phil Sentenced To Death

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There’s a critter who is hating the sun today. Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog who has his own holiday and movie, saw his shadow this morning when he exited his burrow in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Tradition says that his shadow sighting foretells six more weeks of winter weather for our nation. “This will not stand,” said … Read more