Donald J. Trump has always been a crackerjack businessman, and he runs the United States of America with the same efficient and determined drive for excellence.
Today the president declared war against the horrendous criminal behavior of Joe Biden and his crime family by dispatching U.S. troops to all 194 countries in the world (save the U.S.A.).
“This is a national emergency,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “It’s like a million caravans. Very bad. Joe Biden and his criminal family are the biggest threat to the world ever. Even bigger than Godzilla with a nuclear bomb riding a meteor headed to Earth.”
Our magnificent leader is tired of pussyfooting around.
“Biden and his son Hunter have scammed our country out of trillions of dollars,” he said. “They are dirty, corrupt, disgusting people. It’s my job to protect Americans, and I’m going to do that. I have dispatched my armies, navy, air force, and space force to go discover all the incredible dirt on the Bidens. We’re going to go into the four corners of the world and flush out the wrongdoing, the incredible awful acts of the Bidens.”
Trump flexed his muscle in his handsome blue suit and felt it.
“I am a very strong man,” he said. “And I will get to the truth. Believe me. I am a stable genius. And very strong. I am also going to build a big, beautiful wall around the White House to protect me against impeachment from crazy Democrat socialists. And my wall will have a moat with snakes, alligators, and Godzilla with a nuclear bomb.”
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