If anyone knows how to create drama, it’s President Donald J. Trump. The man who made The Apprentice the most popular TV show in history has decided to shake things up with the cast on The White House Cornanvirus Task Force.
“We’ve had the highest ratings ever,” the president told The Lint Screen. “Incredible ratings. No one’s ever seen ratings like the briefings. That’s because I was the star. People know me, trust me, love me. But I felt like we could do better with the show. Get rid of the boring medical science yawn-squad. Fauci’s got nothing but boring charts and facts about doom and gloom. Who wants to watch that? Not me. So, I got some fresh talent.”
The nation’s ringleader has recruited a mysterious figure known as G. Reaper. “I’m not sure what the ‘G’ stands for–– Gary, Greg, Ted? I don’t know,” Trump said. “But people love mystery, and this guy is spooky–– scary as hell. I feel a chill when he enters the room.”
The president will take over the medical and scientific aspects of the nation’s response to COVID-19. “I know how to find silver linings,” he said. “I’m a cheerleader.” Mike Pence will continue his role complimenting the president on his swift, decisive leadership and painting rosy scenarios about testing success, and G. Reaper will discuss the downer news about casualties.
“I don’t know if he’ll need to say much,” Trump said, “because I think the coronavirus will be going away really soon. It will disappear like a miracle. But, if some people are weak warriors, they’re unpatriotic enough to die, then we’ll let the hooded guy handle the bad news. I’m not getting my hands dirty.”
The big guy said he is also thinking of some other upcoming shows for this fall’s White House schedule to keep viewers watching.
“One idea I have is called President Hottie,” Trump said, smiling. “It stars Ivanka. She’s the first woman president and wears a pinstripe string bikini. Incredible body. And she does a tremendous job presidenting. People love her. I think it’s going to be a smash hit.”
Another idea in the hopper is called MacJared. “It’s kind of like MacGyver, but instead of making stuff to solve problems, people in trouble just call Jared Kushner to fix it. It’s got action, adventure, and rich fat cats feasting on the federal budget. It’ll be big. MacJared.“
Trump beams with satisfaction.
“Stay tuned, America,” he said. “I’ll keep you watching.”
———————————————————————————————-
Enjoy PD Scullin’s entertaining debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus” –– a dark humor romp across America in the early ’80s. You are one click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.
7 responses to “New Coronavirus Task Force Member Announced”
[…] some people get the virus and die, that’s on God, not me. Blame […]
[…] Memorial Day weekend, as COVID-19 ravages America, people remember fallen heroes and those who bravely fought for our freedom, President Donald J. […]
[…] action and shut down flights from China earlier this year, I’ll bet over 100,000 people would have died from COVID-19, and we would probably have a couple of million cases. But thanks to him, we averted disaster. […]
[…] every American must do their job in making sure he can continue making America great again. If we lose a few lives along the way, it will be well worth it for the rest of us. The health of our economy is at […]
[…] was no need for masks. He said there’s only a couple of cases in the U.S. and it’s not going to be a big deal,” Ivanka shakes her head. “Fauci also told Daddy, ‘Don’t wear a mask, […]
[…] to President Trump, we have had very few coronavirus cases and deaths–– almost none. He’s made it possible for us to safely open the country up and get the […]
[…] after he left the country in shambles. It was horrible how he ran the economy into the ground. So he started a pandemic to get back at me. I’m taking hydroxychloroquine to protect America. Great stuff, hydroxychloroquine. I get the […]