The defense team for disgraced former President Donald J. Trump made the case yesterday that religion is at the root of his second impeachment.
“Democrats have always hated God,” Trump lawyer Michael van der Veen said. “They are led by Satan, so naturally, they hate Donald Trump. They refuse to acknowledge that Trump is The Chosen One our Lord has sent to save mankind.”
van der Veen plead his case with righteous indignation, an attitude sure to please his master watching on TV in Mar-a-Lago.
“This impeachment is a total witch hunt,” van der Veen said. “The Democrats say Trump incited an insurrection when we all know the president told the crowd to go peacefully. Like Jesus Christ, Donald J. Trump has always only acted with love in his heart. He cares deeply for morality, dignity, and civility for all people.”
The defense attorney plead the case that Trump’s call with Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger was done in the interest of justice.
“The president’s call was done to sort out a grave injustice,” van der Veen said. “Everyone knows Donald J. Trump won the election in a landslide. He won all 50 states, he told us this himself– and as I have already proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, ex-President Trump is The Chosen One, sent by our Creator. He would never lie! I think this accusation is proof of the moral bankruptcy of the Democratic Party. Trump was calling Raffensperger to correct the obvious injustice inflicted on him. Donald Trump was politely requesting 11,780 votes to right the wrong. He was doing God’s will!”
van der Veen believes the Democrats and any American who doubts the divinity of Donald J. Trump is destined for an eternity in hell.
“I don’t know how much clearer I can state my case,” van der Veen said in summation. “Donald J. Trump would never lie, incite violence, or do anything against his fellow man. Anyone who says differently is guilty of refusing God, and thus, destined for a lake of fire.”
van der Veen ended his defense by leading the Republican Senators in a prayer and pledge of eternal faith to their master, Donald J. Trump.
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20 responses to “Democrats hate God, that’s why they hate Trump, defense says”
[…] “Other states are hooked up to a national power grid,” Perry explains. “That’s fine if you don’t have an adventurous spirit, if you like playing it safe. But that attitude ain’t what built the Lone Star State. We don’t need government interference. We like to let the free market rule, so we developed our own power grid. And because we let AOC use some of her newfangled liberal green energy, it ruined our power grid for everyone. Let that be a lesson. You can’t trust Democrats.” […]
[…] there is no such thing as white supremacists, that’s another liberal lie,” he claims. “All I ever wanted to do was make America great again. For white […]
[…] “Meryl Streep is a well-known Hollywood liberal,” Rubio says. “She’s also a great actress and expert at using cosmetics to achieve the look of the characters she portrays. She played a horse in Secretariat, for crying out loud! Streep used her liberal rage and incredible artistry to make the Black Lives Matter members look like they weren’t even black–– but were white! And she taught them how to act like angry Trump supporters. Ultimately, she turned the angry mob fake their support of The Chosen One hoping to hurt him! But the plot failed when the GOP and its loyal supporters didn’t buy any of it. We still back the big guy!“ […]
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[…] candidates, who love American and want to protect the Constitution. They’re voting for liberal socialists, atheists hellbent on the ruination of our country. Obviously, we’ve got to solve these criminal acts. That’s why 43 states have over 250 […]
[…] “The Democrats hate God and want to take away everyone’s guns,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “That’s making a mockery of The Constitution. They talk about background checks– that’s infringing on the privacy of American citizens. Democrats want there to be more waiting time. Have they ever seen the lines at Wal Mart? You can wait up to three, five, even ten minutes to buy your guns. And they want to get rid of semi-automatic weapons. Have you ever seen how fast a squirrel runs? You need rapid fire to take those varmints down. They make a right tasty stew.” […]
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[…] says the Democrats don’t believe in God and that is why they are making such a big deal out of what happened on January […]
[…] great state Republican representatives presented many ways to make voting better for Texans, and the lazy Democrats up and walked out on them in protest. I’m sick and tired of dealing with those crybabies, so […]
[…] And then there’s Rep. Ralph Norman (R-SC). He questioned how Attorney General Merrick Garland could even think there was any wrongdoing on January 6. “Garland and his deep staters are off on another witch hunt,” Norman declared. “These liberals are hellbent on trying to smear President Trump’s good name just because he’s The Chosen One. And everyone knows they hate God and America.“ […]
[…] rage, General Milley? Educate yourself, G.I. Joe––watch some Fox News! You’ll see how the Satanic, baby-eating Democrats cheated Trump out of his re-election and ruined […]
[…] The Republican Party loves freedom and hates what President Joe Biden is doing to destroy America. […]
[…] “Nancy and her desperados are looking to rewrite history,” Jordan says. “They want to make things like slavery, voter suppression, and insurrections look bad. But as long as I’m around, I’m going to fight the dirty lowlifes tooth and nail. Because when Jim Jordan sees something wrong, he takes action!” […]
[…] DeSantis is especially upset at President Joe Biden. […]
[…] sick and tired of these Democrats and their witch hunts,” the Republican lawmaker crowed. “They’re trying to illegally prosecute the good […]
[…] finally escaped my evil liberal kidnappers on January 27th,” McCarthy claims. “When I returned, my impersonator […]
[…] Turner thinks people have been brainwashed by “the woke baby blood-drinking liberals who worship Satan.“ […]
[…] she whines. “Joe Biden stole the election from President Trump, and now he has his injustice department dragging God’s gift to America into kangaroo courts for a bunch of witch hunts. It’s […]
[…] than I have. Jesus Christ had it easy compared to me. They only nailed him to the cross once, but the liberal media does it to me every day. They are not nice. Very unfair, unkind people. It’s awful how they treat me. It’s much […]