Roy Turner, leader of The Florida Board of Education, thinks slavery has been given a bad rap, and he and his group plan to change its image.
“We have been teaching kids all the wrong lessons about slavery,” Turner tells The Lint Screen. “And we are going to right that wrong.”
Effective immediately, Florida students will learn the many “positive aspects of American slavery.”
“For far too long, people have only looked at the ‘woke’ version of history,” Turner says, shaking his head. “No one ever talks about the fact that slavery gave blacks 100% employment. Good gravy, it’s the only time in history that’s happened, but no one ever talks about it. Let’s take pride in it!”
Turner also believes there were many good things about being owned by a prosperous landowner.
“Slaves didn’t have to worry about room or board,” he says. “It was free. You put in a good day’s work, you get a full belly and a good night’s sleep. That’s a simple lesson in responsibility––and their masters gave them many valuable life lessons like that free of charge.”
The hooded leader of Florida education also said slaves “benefitted by learning skills they could use later to make some serious money.” Turner explains.
“Most of the slaves came to America unskilled,” he says. “That’s a fact. On the plantations, they had training programs––offered free so that slaves could learn valuable skills like blacksmithing, nannying, cooking, maybe auto repair, electrical work, or plumbing––you know, practical skills that could be valuable on the open market.”
Turner thinks people have been “brainwashed by the woke baby blood-drinking liberals who worship Satan.“
“Our Florida kids need protection from woke history,” Turner said. “That stuff makes white kids sad. You look at Gone With The Wind– those blacks were awfully happy. Singing and whatnot. We need to look at the bright side of slavery. We will also teach them that Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy. He’s another guy the woke mob is out to make look like a villain. There is way too much negative history out there, but you’re not going to find that in The Sunshine State! We’ll put a smile on the past and feel good about our proud history.”
Read PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a twisted, fun ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. Also available in audiobook. Buckle up and go.