Pitiful Rudy Giuliani was once a hero, but now the pathetic schlub is known as a con man’s patsy.
On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that Giuliani is liable for defaming Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and her daughter, Wandrea’ ArShaye Moss, by accusing them of fraud during the Georgia vote counting at State Farm Arena in Atlanta.
“These women are being totally unreasonable,” Giuliani tells The Lint Screen. “All I did was accuse them of cheating President Donald Trump out of his re-election in 2020. I said they were engaged in diabolical election fraud. And I believe that. I just didn’t have any proof. Since when is proof required in a court of law? I had a really good gut feeling about them being crooked.”
As a result of Giuliani’s wild, unfounded claims, Freeman and her daughter were harassed and received numerous death threats.
“It seems to me these ladies are crybabies,” Giuliani says. “Bellyaching about death threats is not a big deal. I mean, they’re still living, aren’t they? Why should I have to pay damages for ruining their lives? Where’s the justice in that? I’m famous and connected. They’re not. Get over it.”
Giuliani is in a world of trouble because of his association with Trump. Rudy G. faces numerous federal and state charges, and Trump has refused to offer legal financial assistance to represent the sleazy, sweaty weasel.
“I think President Trump will come through for me,” Giuliani says. “He is an honorable, trustworthy man known for his loyalty to friends. I have no doubt Donald will take care of me against all these outrageous cases against me. Did you know they used to call me America’s Mayor? I’m a big shot. There’s no way I’ll have to pay a price to society. I know it!”
Giuliani takes out a monogrammed handkerchief and mops his brow. He wrings it out as a puddle forms on the floor.
“Let me know when Trump calls,” he tells his assistant. “I know he’ll save my bacon.”
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Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a twisted, fun ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. Also available in audiobook. Buckle up and go.