Disgraced twice-impeached former President Donald Trump is working hard to expand his base of support from Black voters to more just Sen. Tim Scott.
“No one understands ‘The Blacks’ better than me,” Trump declared recently at The Black Conservative Federation. “I’ve done more for you people than Martin Luther King. He had marches, but I introduced sneakers, which I know you guys love. You love sneakers, don’t you? Trump sneakers are gold. Biden would never do that for you. Biden hates Blacks. He stole my election victory. Not a nice man, Biden. Nasty. Stole my election like a dog.”
Trump also made a case for his understanding of the Black population because he is in so much trouble with the law.
“The man is trying to bust me on 91 felony raps,” he told his audience. “Can you believe that? 91––that’s got to be some kind of record, right? So, I gave the camera a badass look for my mugshot. No other president has ever done a gangster move like that. Can you dig that, man?”
Trump attempted to moonwalk across the stage. He tripped, and three aides caught him and returned him to the podium.
“The Blacks love me,” Trump said. “The other day, an old Black man walked up to me. He said I was a much, much better president than Obama or Lincoln, and he had tears in his eyes. Sobbing like a baby. And I told him I wasn’t done freeing Blacks. I won’t be happy until we rewrite all the history books and stop making Blacks feel like victims for the little slavery misunderstanding. It was no big deal, slavery. Why dwell on the past? Get over it. The man thanked me, and we high-fived. How cool is that?”
The crowd appeared stunned, and Trump smiled. “I told my wife Melody the other night, ‘I get The Blacks.’ I get you, people––I really do. Everyone says so, even all my white nationalist friends.”
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