While President Donald J. Trump has earned the lowest presidential approval ratings in the United States in over 80 years, he is incredibly popular in other countries.
“They love me,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “People can’t enough Trump in the powerful and tough countries like Russia and China. Even Putin and Xi think I’m killing it. They say I am an excellent negotiator. And those guys should know. I make the best deals.”
Asked if he is concerned about his horrific approval ratings in the country he leads, Trump quickly dismisses them.
“Those are fake numbers,” he says. “They’re from eggheads with Trump Derangement Syndrome. I’m having Pam Bondi and Kash Patel arrest them for re-education. There will be some new numbers soon.”
He quickly shifts the conversation back to Russia and China.
“No one’s ever seen the kind of incredible approval numbers I have in those countries,” he brags. “And Russia and China are much bigger than America, so I couldn’t care less what people here think. And if Americans want to criticize me, maybe a little time in an El Salvador prison will change their minds. Joe Biden ruined America. He made our country not-so-great, and I’m picking up the pieces and doing a fantastic job. An amazing job. Everyone says so.“
Toadies Stephen Miller and Howard Lutnick quickly nod their heads in agreement, and clap their hands.
“That’s right, sir,” they say. “You’re the best president ever. No doubt about it, sir! The absolute best.”
Trump smiles. “See that?” he asks. “The people know! The people know.”
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