While President Donald J. Trump has earned the lowest presidential performance approval ratings for his first 100 days in over 80 years, he is incredibly popular in other countries.
“They love me,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “People can’t get enough Trump in powerful countries like Russia and China. Putin and Xi think I’m killing it. They say I am an tough negotiator. They say I’m very smart and I make the best deals.”
Asked if he is concerned about his horrific approval ratings in the country he leads, Trump quickly dismisses them.
“Those are fake numbers,” he says. “They’re from eggheads with Trump Derangement Syndrome. I’m having Pam Bondi and Kash Patel arrest them for re-education. There will be some new numbers soon. Incredibly high numbers.”
He quickly shifts the conversation back to Russia and China.
“No one’s ever seen the kind of incredible approval numbers I have in those countries,” he brags. “And Russia and China are much bigger than America, so I couldn’t care less what people here think. And if Americans want to criticize me, maybe a little time in an El Salvador prison will change their minds. Joe Biden ruined America. He made our country not-so-great, and I’m picking up the pieces and doing a fantastic job. An amazing job. Everyone says so.“
Toadies Stephen Miller and Howard Lutnick nod in agreement and clap their hands like trained seals.
“That’s right, sir,” they say. “You’re the best president ever. No doubt about it, sir! The absolute best.”
Trump smiles. “See that?” he asks. “The people know! The people know.”
———————————————————————————————-
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.