“Tylenol causes autism and a belief in the existance of the Epstein files,” Trump declares

Just when you though it couldn’t get any weirder, it does.

On Tuesday, insane President Perv and his medical trust of Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and quack Dr. Oz, gave a press conference in which Trump claimed, “Tylenol causes autism in our beautiful little babies, and also plants the crazy idea that there are Epstein files.”

Although the medical research is sketchy, Trump was insistent.

“Tylenol is the worst,” he said. “There are all these delusional people who believe the Epstein files are real, and it’s quite sad, really. Many of these people believe in Santa Claus and the Russia, Russia, Russia hoax, and now they’ve gone overboard by buying into the Epstein files hoax.”

RFK, Jr., stepped up to the microphone. “The President is one hundred percent innocent,” the kooky Kennedy said. “Trust Pam Bondi and the Kash Man, they are excellent investigators and very honest. The President never met Epstein.”

Trump smiles as he pushes the worm-ridden, bear-eatin’ freak to the side.

“So true, Bobby, so true,” Trump agrees. “Tylenol is very dangerous. Don’t take it, mommies, daddies, single people, babies–– you don’t want autism or crazy Epstein ideas swimming in your head.”

Dr. Oz smiles as he reminds the President that he sells some supplements people can take instead to safeguard themselves from autism and crazy conspiracy theories.

“I know what’s best for Americans,” Oz states. “Buy my products!”

“You’re the best, Dr. Oz,” Trump says. “We’re looking out for you and will keep you safe and healthy. Sleep tight, people!”

The team departs for the raw milk bar for a tall glass before they take a dip in raw sewage.

———————————————————————————————-
Enjoy PD Scullin’s debut novel, “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a humorous romp across America with a circus in the early ’80s. You’re a click away from a helluva fun ride. Buckle up and go.